Setting the Table (a 25-Day Sport, Apparently)

If you know me even a little, you know I treat Thanksgiving as a brief intermission. The curtain drops on Halloween, and Christmas is already on stage performing the complete Nutcracker ballet. I don’t ease into the holidays; I leap like that cute little sugarplum ballerina.

So yes—Christmas is up, and I’m officially in my natural habitat. Now what? Setting the table (as one obviously does). 

I love my classics—heirloom silver, sentimental pieces, and my beloved holiday china called Grenadiers until Bernardaud decided to discontinue it, literally without warning, in an act of pure chaos. Why discontinue perfection? But if you have this pattern—or want to join me in the “I Will Not Recover From This Decision” club—you can still find it at the link below. Ok, my rant is over, and we are moving on. This year, I’ve come up with a whole new batch of tablescaping ideas while still using my staples. And more than a few of my favorite creators have been busy in their workshops designing the most heavenly pieces. Santa could never. 

“How Many Times Does One Set the Table for Christmas?”

Short answer: many 

When the year ends in an odd number, my brother flies in from Spain with his darling wife and my brilliant niece and nephew, which means I go straight into tablescape mode, not cooking mode (we’ve covered that in a previous blog, bless).

So what am I supposed to do?
Repeat the same table?
Hard No. 

And thus, my list of Can’t-Live-Without Holiday Tablescape Staples was born.(Why the obsession, you ask? Kindly keep reading for a full anthropological breakdown of my festive derangement.)

A Moment for My Mother — where the hereditary holiday madness truly began

Let’s be honest: even at my most extra, my tablescapes don’t hold a candle to my mother’s.

This woman could do an “outfit of the day” for her dining table.

She will lay out four spoons, three forks, two knives, a fish fork for no reason, and a tiny oyster fork “because you never know.”
Bebe… we do know.

She sets her table as if the Queen of Denmark might ring the doorbell at any moment—silver goblets, chargers, and a level of pageantry that feels… unnecessary, but yet here we are. Honestly, the real surprise is that she doesn’t own Tiffany’s Holiday “White Background ONLY,” a unicorn pattern allegedly available only in Japan. That is precisely the level of holiday china drama she thrives on.

My darling mother maintains an estimated 700 china collections, each with its own set of ceremonious (useless) teacups that have remained untouched relics since 1972. She has 8,234 placemats, because “you never know,” and so many napkin rings you could quite literally pack the Colosseum—upper deck included.

And guess who will one day inherit this empire?
Yes. Me.
Lord help me—someone pre-reserve me three storage units and perhaps a forklift.

For the Rest of Us (The Non–“Collectors” Among Us)

For those of you who don’t have a mother who is a hoarder “collector”, here’s your Tablescape Idea Sesh.

This is your guide to being festive, pulled together, and seasonally over-the-top—without needing an archival-level china, linen, silver, and crystal collection.

And honestly, if you manage to pull off any Christmas dinner without a spat, an unexpected political debate, someone storming off to “check the ham,” or a sibling reenacting old childhood trauma, then congratulations: you earn a gold star and an extra Midnight Cranberry Royale (or whatever fabulously fussy Christmas cocktail speaks to your spirit), because well, frankly, you deserve it. 

Cheers, friends—and welcome to the delightful holiday mayhem we all claim to dread but secretly LIVE for.

“Load the table with all the trimmings, but the real hero is the place card—your only hope of keeping cocktail-happy Aunt Louise far from your infamously outspoken cousin.”

“For dishes and wine vessels (yes, we’re calling them that now), keep it fresh, festive, and delightfully whimsical – Aunt Louise may graduate to a plastic cup before the night is over.”

“For heaven’s sake, cut those overhead lights. We’re trying to create a mood, not interrogate anyone.”

“If you’re that extra girl who insists a bow belongs on absolutely everything…”